1
00:00:46,733 --> 00:00:48,679
I'm really upset.

2
00:00:48,735 --> 00:00:52,080
- I'm hurt and disappointed. I'm bugged.
I am really upset. - [ Loud Bang]

3
00:00:52,139 --> 00:00:54,210
Jerry, are you upset with me?

4
00:00:54,274 --> 00:00:56,311
- No.
- Well, then why waste it on me?

5
00:00:56,376 --> 00:00:59,585
I'm a nice person.
Save it for whoever you're upset with.

6
00:00:59,646 --> 00:01:02,183
- [ Elevator Bell Dings]
- MorningJerry. Morning, Carol.

7
00:01:02,249 --> 00:01:04,627
That's the guy I'm upset with.

8
00:01:04,684 --> 00:01:06,721
- Go get himJerry. Sic him.
- Right.

9
00:01:08,688 --> 00:01:11,532
Hey, Bob, how come you didn't tell me
about Phil Bender?

10
00:01:11,591 --> 00:01:14,470
- Carol.
- I did not say a word, Bob.

11
00:01:14,528 --> 00:01:18,943
I made the mistake of turning my back, and
“El Snoopo“ here saw the appointment book.

12
00:01:18,999 --> 00:01:21,479
Jerry, are you in the habit of snooping
in my appointment book?

13
00:01:21,535 --> 00:01:24,675
No. I just happened
to be reading it by accident.

14
00:01:24,738 --> 00:01:27,651
I saw 9:00, Phil Bender.
Sol said to Carol...

15
00:01:27,707 --> 00:01:30,483
“That's not the Phil Bender
who pitches for the Cubs, is it?“ She said--

16
00:01:30,544 --> 00:01:32,421
No, absolutely not.

17
00:01:32,479 --> 00:01:35,289
Sol knew of course
it must be him.

18
00:01:35,348 --> 00:01:37,555
Well, as a matter of fact,
it is Phil Bender.

19
00:01:37,617 --> 00:01:39,927
He is the pitcher for the Cubs.
He's been seeing me professionally...

20
00:01:39,986 --> 00:01:42,364
for about, oh, six, seven weeks.

21
00:01:42,422 --> 00:01:46,734
The reason I didn't introduce you is because
I knew you'd involve him in baseball talk...

22
00:01:46,793 --> 00:01:49,740
ask him for an autographed ball,
and that is not what he's here for.

23
00:01:49,796 --> 00:01:52,777
Well, I really appreciate
your frankness, Bob.

24
00:01:52,833 --> 00:01:55,712
I mean, a lot of guys would try to
spare my feelings, but not you.

25
00:01:55,769 --> 00:01:59,342
No, no, you just insult me
right to my face.

26
00:01:59,406 --> 00:02:01,352
Jerry, don't take it
as anything personal.

27
00:02:01,408 --> 00:02:03,888
I don't want Phil treated any differently
than any of my other patients.

28
00:02:03,944 --> 00:02:06,083
- You know, nothing special.
- [ Elevator Bell Dings]

29
00:02:06,146 --> 00:02:08,092
- How you doing, Bob?
- Hey, Phil, good to see you.

30
00:02:08,148 --> 00:02:10,094
- How do you feel?
- Good, good, good.

31
00:02:10,150 --> 00:02:12,096
Thanks for letting me
use the parking space in the garage.

32
00:02:12,152 --> 00:02:15,031
It really saves me
a lot of hassle.

33
00:02:15,088 --> 00:02:19,195
Yeah, sure, it's no trouble, Phil. I just
pull my car in off the street when you leave.

34
00:02:19,259 --> 00:02:22,502
- [jar/y <i>Chuck/es ]</i>
- Phil, do you knowjerry Robinson?

35
00:02:22,562 --> 00:02:24,872
How would he know me, Bob?

36
00:02:26,099 --> 00:02:28,841
Right. Uh, Phil Bender,
this isjerry Robinson.

37
00:02:28,902 --> 00:02:30,848
- Glad to meet you.
- How areyou?

38
00:02:30,904 --> 00:02:34,545
Jerrys an orthodontist.
He has an office here on this floor.

39
00:02:34,608 --> 00:02:38,283
Listen, I have a kid that may need braces
on her teeth. Maybe I'll send her to see you.

40
00:02:38,345 --> 00:02:41,121
Terrific. Great.
Anytime, Phil. Anytime.

41
00:02:44,551 --> 00:02:46,758
- Well, we'd better get started.
- Nice meeting you.

42
00:02:46,820 --> 00:02:48,993
- Right.
- Oh, Bob, by the way...

43
00:02:49,055 --> 00:02:52,400
here's that autographed baseball
I got for your nephew.

44
00:03:02,135 --> 00:03:05,241
He doesn't have a nephew. I know that
for a fact. He does not have a nephew.

45
00:03:05,305 --> 00:03:07,251
He has a niece, no nephew.

46
00:03:07,307 --> 00:03:09,446
[Chuckles]
He got that ball for himself.

47
00:03:09,509 --> 00:03:11,580
Boy, I am so bugged.

48
00:03:11,645 --> 00:03:15,457
Jer, don't get so excited.
Now, if you ask him real nice...

49
00:03:15,515 --> 00:03:17,552
I'm sure he'll let you play catch
with his new ball.

50
00:03:17,617 --> 00:03:19,654
[Mouthing Words]

51
00:03:21,588 --> 00:03:23,534
<i>Man On TV]
It's the bottom of the ninth with two outs...</i>

52
00:03:23,590 --> 00:03:26,070
<i>and Bender can wrap it up
right here.</i>

53
00:03:26,126 --> 00:03:28,868
Phil is pitching great.
lfhe gets this guy out, he's got a shutout.

54
00:03:28,929 --> 00:03:33,674
- Oh, Bob.
- It's a sweeping curveball. Outside. Ball one.

55
00:03:33,733 --> 00:03:35,940
Oh, get it over, Phil.
Let him hit it. He can't hit.

56
00:03:36,002 --> 00:03:39,711
- Come on, Phil.
- Bender's taking plenty of time out there.

57
00:03:39,773 --> 00:03:42,686
<i>He shakes offa sign.</i>

58
00:03:42,742 --> 00:03:45,018
<i>Shakes off another one,.</i>

59
00:03:45,078 --> 00:03:47,558
<i>Now he's ready,
Bender winds up.</i>

60
00:03:47,614 --> 00:03:49,890
- Here it comes.
- [ Loud Crack]

61
00:03:49,950 --> 00:03:52,794
It's a long drive to left field.
William's back.

62
00:03:52,852 --> 00:03:54,297
- Back.
- Back!

63
00:03:54,354 --> 00:03:56,334
Back and it's in his mitt!

64
00:03:56,389 --> 00:04:01,031
That's it. The game's over. Phil Bender
hasjust racked up a beautiful five-hit shutout.

65
00:04:01,094 --> 00:04:04,132
Oh, Bob, you won!

66
00:04:04,197 --> 00:04:06,143
<i>We'll be talking with Phil Bender
on our postgame show...</i>

67
00:04:06,199 --> 00:04:08,338
<i>DugmmDme, after this word.</i>

68
00:04:08,401 --> 00:04:12,508
Oh, Bob, you pitched a wonderful game.
I'm so proud of you.

69
00:04:12,572 --> 00:04:15,553
Well, thank you, honey, but William
made a pretty good catch, you know.

70
00:04:15,608 --> 00:04:18,316
Oh, well, you can be
modest if you want to...

71
00:04:18,378 --> 00:04:21,518
but Phil Bender was losing before
he came to you and now he's winning...

72
00:04:21,581 --> 00:04:23,561
so you must be doing
something right.

73
00:04:23,616 --> 00:04:27,894
Well, it's nothing out of the ordinary.
You know, we'rejust talking about his mother.

74
00:04:27,954 --> 00:04:31,333
You know, the usual.

75
00:04:31,391 --> 00:04:33,928
Yeah, well, I just think it's a shame
that everybody doesn't know.

76
00:04:33,994 --> 00:04:38,465
Well, it's enough that he knows it,
and I know it and that you know it.

77
00:04:38,531 --> 00:04:41,273
- <i>[</i> TV, lnzfistinct]
- And whoever else you decide to tell.

78
00:04:43,303 --> 00:04:45,249
Oh, look, Bob, there he is.

79
00:04:45,305 --> 00:04:48,650
So, what do you think it is, Phil?
What made the big difference out there tonight?

80
00:04:48,708 --> 00:04:51,621
Well, I'll tell you, Ernie. I just knew
I had the stuff to win out there tonight.

81
00:04:51,678 --> 00:04:55,148
<i>I felt good,
I felt loose, and I felt relaxed.</i>

82
00:04:55,215 --> 00:04:59,061
I noticed the same thing, Phil.
Earlier in the season, you seemed to be tight.

83
00:04:59,119 --> 00:05:02,931
You seemed to be pressing a lot.
How do you account for the change?

84
00:05:02,989 --> 00:05:07,369
Well, Ernie, I guess I can say it here.
I'm not ashamed of it.

85
00:05:07,427 --> 00:05:10,135
I had a few personal problems,
so I went to see a psychologist.

86
00:05:10,196 --> 00:05:12,802
- Bob, that's you.
- Bob Hartley.

87
00:05:12,866 --> 00:05:16,075
Uh, fabulous guy, Ernie.
He changed my whole life.

88
00:05:16,136 --> 00:05:18,514
That's an amazing story, Phil.

89
00:05:18,571 --> 00:05:21,177
Was that a curveball or a slider
that got Ferrano in the third?

90
00:05:24,277 --> 00:05:29,124
- I think it was a slider.
- Oh, Bob, isn't that wonderful?

91
00:05:29,182 --> 00:05:32,652
Well, I don't know. I didn't mind him
mentioning he was going to a psychologist...

92
00:05:32,719 --> 00:05:35,131
but I wish he hadn't mentioned
my name on TV.

93
00:05:35,188 --> 00:05:37,930
- <i>Why?</i>
- <i>[ Phone Ringing]</i>

94
00:05:39,259 --> 00:05:41,671
Because of that.

95
00:05:41,728 --> 00:05:44,470
<i>[Ring]</i>

96
00:05:44,531 --> 00:05:46,807
Hello?

97
00:05:46,866 --> 00:05:48,868
Oh. hiJerW-

98
00:05:48,935 --> 00:05:50,915
Yeah, yeah, I saw it.

99
00:05:52,605 --> 00:05:56,178
How do I feel about it?
Well, I don't really particularly feel about it.

100
00:05:56,242 --> 00:05:58,279
You know, it's no big deal.

101
00:05:58,344 --> 00:06:03,123
It went by so fast, I hardly
even recognized my name, you know.

102
00:06:05,385 --> 00:06:07,661
No, I'm sure he said Hartley.

103
00:06:09,456 --> 00:06:11,766
Right after “fabulous guy
who changed my whole life.“

104
00:06:14,461 --> 00:06:16,463
I'll see what I can do,jerry.

105
00:06:16,529 --> 00:06:18,975
Right. Good-bye.

106
00:06:19,032 --> 00:06:21,535
<i>[Emily]
Oh, that was sweet ofjerry to call.</i>

107
00:06:21,601 --> 00:06:25,845
Uh, semisweet. He wants me
to get freebies for the next home game.

108
00:06:25,905 --> 00:06:29,409
Oh. Well, listen, honey, why don't you
sit down and rest your arm?

109
00:06:29,476 --> 00:06:32,116
- <i>[ Doorbell Buzzes ]</i>
- <i>[ Phone Ringing]</i>

110
00:06:32,178 --> 00:06:35,557
- Oh.
- Emily, you get the phone, I'll get the door...

111
00:06:35,615 --> 00:06:39,085
- and we'll both keep an eye on the window.
- Right. Hello.

112
00:06:39,152 --> 00:06:41,632
- Hi, Bob.
- Oh, hi, Howie.

113
00:06:41,688 --> 00:06:44,191
Hey, I just drove in from the airport,
and the strangest thing happened.

114
00:06:44,257 --> 00:06:46,362
I know, I know.
You heard my name mentioned on the radio.

115
00:06:46,426 --> 00:06:48,235
No, I had a flat tire.

116
00:06:49,929 --> 00:06:53,433
You're not gonna believe this.
A pilot actually stopped and helped me.

117
00:06:53,500 --> 00:06:56,140
- No kidding.
- Yeah, yeah. I stopped and I was looking--

118
00:06:56,202 --> 00:06:58,614
You know, I bent over and looked at the tire,
and he must have thought...

119
00:06:58,671 --> 00:07:00,708
you know, I was another pilot
from the back.

120
00:07:02,642 --> 00:07:04,588
You missed all the excitement
here, Howard.

121
00:07:04,644 --> 00:07:06,749
- What happened?
- Phil Bender pitched tonight.

122
00:07:06,813 --> 00:07:09,316
He's one of my patients.
He mentioned my name on TV.

123
00:07:09,382 --> 00:07:11,658
Oh. Oh, anyway,
the pilot and I went for hamburgers...

124
00:07:11,718 --> 00:07:14,927
<i>and we ran into
these three beautiful girls.</i>

125
00:07:14,988 --> 00:07:16,934
- Oh, hello, Howard.
- Oh, hi.

126
00:07:16,990 --> 00:07:19,903
Uh, Bob, that was the manager
of the building. He said congratulations...

127
00:07:19,959 --> 00:07:23,065
and don't mix the cans
in with the garbage next week.

128
00:07:23,129 --> 00:07:25,075
- <i>[ Phone Ringing]
- So, anyway--</i>

129
00:07:25,131 --> 00:07:27,509
- Emily, no matter who that is, I don't
want to talk to them. - Right. <i>Hello.</i>

130
00:07:27,567 --> 00:07:29,843
Oh, yeah, sure,
he's right here. Bob?

131
00:07:29,903 --> 00:07:33,510
- Emily.
- Well, it's your mother.

132
00:07:38,378 --> 00:07:40,517
Hi, Mom.

133
00:07:40,580 --> 00:07:43,789
How come you were watching
a baseball game?

134
00:07:45,185 --> 00:07:48,189
You'd seen that episode
of <i>Lucy</i> four times.

135
00:07:52,058 --> 00:07:56,131
Yeah, it was nice
that Phil mentioned my name on TV.

136
00:07:56,196 --> 00:07:58,904
Well, famous people need help
just like anybody else.

137
00:08:00,200 --> 00:08:03,147
Well, if Mayor Daley wants me,
my name's in the book.

138
00:08:04,771 --> 00:08:06,808
Okay. All right.
All right. Good-bye, Mom.

139
00:08:06,873 --> 00:08:10,821
What's the matter, Bob? That's the shortest
conversation you ever had with your mother.

140
00:08:10,877 --> 00:08:13,448
Oh, she wanted to keep her line clear.
A lot of her friends are calling her.

141
00:08:13,513 --> 00:08:16,153
Oh, yeah, she must be
so proud of you.

142
00:08:16,216 --> 00:08:18,162
I guess she is.
For the first time...

143
00:08:18,218 --> 00:08:21,256
she thinks she knows
what I do for a living.

144
00:08:23,923 --> 00:08:25,869
- [ Elevator Bell Dings]
- That's enough. When. When.

145
00:08:25,925 --> 00:08:28,804
- Ah! [ imitates Bugle]
- Yea!

146
00:08:28,861 --> 00:08:32,468
- Here he comes, folks, the savior of
the Chicago Cubs. - Hartley! Hartley!

147
00:08:32,532 --> 00:08:34,478
- <i>Hartley/Hartley!
- All right,</i> all <i>right.</i>

148
00:08:34,534 --> 00:08:36,980
Thank you very much,
but that's enough.

149
00:08:37,036 --> 00:08:39,312
I've had a million calls,
and I'm kind of tired of being famous.

150
00:08:39,372 --> 00:08:41,318
- Oh, sure.
- Sure, Bob. Mm-hmm.

151
00:08:41,374 --> 00:08:44,821
- Any calls?
- Yes. Two people called to congratulate you.

152
00:08:47,714 --> 00:08:50,194
Only two?

153
00:08:50,250 --> 00:08:52,196
You know,
I don't understand it.

154
00:08:52,252 --> 00:08:55,165
I have treated plenty of athletes
and celebrities in my day...

155
00:08:55,221 --> 00:08:58,293
and not one of them
has ever mentioned my name on TV.

156
00:08:58,358 --> 00:09:02,033
Oh, Tupperman, there's not a lot of people
who are gonna brag about their urologist.

157
00:09:07,667 --> 00:09:11,513
You gotta face it, Tuppy.
You're not in the glamour field like we are.

158
00:09:11,571 --> 00:09:13,812
Yeah, okay,
have your littlejokes...

159
00:09:13,873 --> 00:09:17,343
- but you're all gonna end up in my office.
- Right.

160
00:09:17,410 --> 00:09:20,857
But we're not gonna
mention it on TV.

161
00:09:20,913 --> 00:09:23,052
Hey, Bob, listen.
I got this great idea.

162
00:09:23,116 --> 00:09:25,187
You tell me the next time
that Bender's ready to win.

163
00:09:25,251 --> 00:09:27,197
You know, when nothing's bothering him,
when he's really up.

164
00:09:27,253 --> 00:09:30,029
I'll lay offa couple hundred dollars
on the Cubs to win.

165
00:09:30,089 --> 00:09:32,296
We'll split it down the middle.
We could clean up.

166
00:09:32,358 --> 00:09:36,397
Jerry, you make him sound like a horse.
I could never do anything like that.

167
00:09:36,462 --> 00:09:38,408
Maybe a dollar.

168
00:09:39,699 --> 00:09:41,872
A dollar? Forget it.

169
00:09:41,934 --> 00:09:44,437
No point ripping up
your mattress just for that.

170
00:09:46,072 --> 00:09:49,781
Bob, I forgot to tell you.
That man over there's waiting to see you.

171
00:09:58,851 --> 00:10:02,094
- Hi. I'm Bob Hartley.
- Oh, hi, Doc. How are you?

172
00:10:02,155 --> 00:10:04,226
The reason I'm here
is I saw the game last night.

173
00:10:04,290 --> 00:10:06,998
- Oh, on TV.
- No, on the bench.

174
00:10:07,060 --> 00:10:09,506
I'm Moose Washburn,
one of the Chicago catchers.

175
00:10:09,562 --> 00:10:12,270
Oh, yeah, sure, sure.

176
00:10:12,332 --> 00:10:14,278
What can I do for you,
Mr. Washburn?

177
00:10:15,535 --> 00:10:17,481
I'm hitting .183, Doc.

178
00:10:17,537 --> 00:10:19,778
For God's sake, can you help me?

179
00:10:27,180 --> 00:10:29,888
You know, I thought
I'd never come to see a shrink.

180
00:10:29,949 --> 00:10:32,691
I just don't like
that kind of stuff, you know.

181
00:10:32,752 --> 00:10:36,825
I'm just a down-to-earth,
practical, horse-sense guy.

182
00:10:36,889 --> 00:10:39,631
But I got a fortune cookie that said,
“Try new things,“ so--

183
00:10:39,692 --> 00:10:42,002
I saw what you did
for Phil Bender.

184
00:10:42,061 --> 00:10:44,007
So, what the hell, you know?

185
00:10:44,063 --> 00:10:46,771
Why don't you have a seat on the couch?
I'll be with you in a minute.

186
00:10:46,833 --> 00:10:49,370
I didn't think we'd get
right at it like this.

187
00:10:49,435 --> 00:10:52,143
Actually, I just came over
for an appointment.

188
00:10:52,205 --> 00:10:54,310
Yeah, well, fortunately
I had a cancellation.

189
00:10:54,374 --> 00:10:57,651
- Yeah.
- You wanna sit down?

190
00:10:58,711 --> 00:11:01,055
Uh, well, let's get
some information.

191
00:11:01,114 --> 00:11:04,357
- <i>Now,</i> the first question--
- Before we start, I'd like to say one thing.

192
00:11:04,417 --> 00:11:06,954
I'm not a nut.

193
00:11:07,019 --> 00:11:08,965
I'm a regular guy.

194
00:11:09,021 --> 00:11:11,763
I mean, I'm married.
I got two kids.

195
00:11:11,824 --> 00:11:13,963
I drink occasionally.

196
00:11:14,026 --> 00:11:17,473
I don't smoke.
I chew tobacco instead.

197
00:11:17,530 --> 00:11:20,136
I never stepped out
on my wife...

198
00:11:20,199 --> 00:11:22,645
excepting five times.

199
00:11:23,903 --> 00:11:25,849
I don't believe
in that kind of stuff.

200
00:11:25,905 --> 00:11:27,851
I'm just a straight guy.

201
00:11:27,907 --> 00:11:30,046
My question was gonna be--
What's your address?

202
00:11:32,145 --> 00:11:34,091
Oh, my address.

203
00:11:34,147 --> 00:11:36,093
Yeah, that's the first question
I ask new patients.

204
00:11:36,149 --> 00:11:40,325
Well, I live at 5439 Ocean View--
No, that's not right.

205
00:11:40,386 --> 00:11:42,764
That's when I lived
in San Francisco.

206
00:11:42,822 --> 00:11:46,565
I was playing with the Giants
when they bought me from Atlanta.

207
00:11:46,626 --> 00:11:49,106
The Phillies owned me
before that.

208
00:11:49,162 --> 00:11:54,236
I almost moved to he Mets, but at
the last minute, San Diego picked me up.

209
00:11:54,300 --> 00:11:57,440
Boy, I enjoyed playing
for San Diego.

210
00:11:57,503 --> 00:12:00,109
Better make that six.

211
00:12:05,711 --> 00:12:09,090
I've been traded so many times, sometimes
I can't remember my address.

212
00:12:09,148 --> 00:12:11,128
What's your phone number?

213
00:12:11,184 --> 00:12:14,028
Oh, that's easy.
I don't have a phone.

214
00:12:14,086 --> 00:12:16,123
Oh.

215
00:12:16,189 --> 00:12:21,298
I had to get rid of it. Those cranks
keep calling me, giving me a bad time.

216
00:12:21,360 --> 00:12:24,569
I play a game, they keep running me down,
giving me insults.

217
00:12:24,630 --> 00:12:29,636
Like they call me a bum.
Like it's my fault 'cause we keep losing.

218
00:12:29,702 --> 00:12:33,047
How can it be my fault?
I'm on the bench most of the time.

219
00:12:33,105 --> 00:12:35,915
<i>I'm telling you- this abuse
is getting to me. I can't sleep.</i>

220
00:12:35,975 --> 00:12:39,081
I'm in a slump.
Doc, I tell you. It's driving me crazy.

221
00:12:40,780 --> 00:12:43,488
When are we gonna get past these questions
about my address and phone...

222
00:12:43,549 --> 00:12:45,495
sol can tell you
what's really bothering me?

223
00:12:45,551 --> 00:12:49,021
[Clears Throat]
We're getting there. Trust-Trust me.

224
00:12:51,591 --> 00:12:55,403
Hey, I feel terrific. I hope I get a chance
to pinch-hit tonight.

225
00:12:55,461 --> 00:12:57,407
I know I can knock it
right outta there.

226
00:12:57,463 --> 00:12:59,966
Well, don't get the wrong impression
about what we're doing here, Moose.

227
00:13:00,032 --> 00:13:02,069
I mean, I'm not a faith healer.

228
00:13:02,134 --> 00:13:05,843
Well, let me say one thing.
When you're a ballplayer in a slump like I am...

229
00:13:05,905 --> 00:13:09,580
you'll try anything--
Vitamin hypnotism, Dr. Wing.

230
00:13:10,643 --> 00:13:12,452
Dr. Wing?

231
00:13:12,512 --> 00:13:14,514
Acupuncture.

232
00:13:16,148 --> 00:13:18,924
Yeah, I've been reading a lot about acupuncture.
Did it work for you?

233
00:13:18,985 --> 00:13:21,795
It sure cured my fear of pain.

234
00:13:24,257 --> 00:13:26,533
Carol, you wanna make an appointment
for Mr. Washburn?

235
00:13:26,592 --> 00:13:29,129
Oh, sure, Bob.
How about Tuesday at 4:00?

236
00:13:29,195 --> 00:13:32,005
Oh, let me look.

237
00:13:32,064 --> 00:13:35,534
- No good, I'm in Pittsburgh.
- Mm-hmm. Thursday at 2:00?

238
00:13:35,601 --> 00:13:37,638
Montreal.

239
00:13:37,703 --> 00:13:39,774
Hey, how about you
coming up to Montreal?

240
00:13:39,839 --> 00:13:42,513
<i>I'll</i> flyyou up. You can see the game.
We can talk there.

241
00:13:42,575 --> 00:13:44,987
No, I don't think
I could possibly do that.

242
00:13:45,044 --> 00:13:49,015
Well, why not? My hypnotist
used to travel all around with me.

243
00:13:49,081 --> 00:13:51,186
At least that's what he told me.

244
00:13:54,687 --> 00:13:57,327
How about sometime next week?
You have a big home stand coming up there.

245
00:13:57,390 --> 00:14:00,064
Oh, yeah. The Dodgers,
Cincinnati, the Giants.

246
00:14:00,126 --> 00:14:02,128
Oh, they're gonna kill us.

247
00:14:02,194 --> 00:14:06,006
- I'll really need you next week.
- UhJerry.

248
00:14:06,065 --> 00:14:08,477
You claim I never introduce you
to celebrities.

249
00:14:08,534 --> 00:14:10,912
This is Moose Washburn.
He's the catcher with the Chicago Cubs.

250
00:14:10,970 --> 00:14:13,075
Oh, yeah.
Really nice to meet you.

251
00:14:13,139 --> 00:14:16,211
- Hey, I saw you play the last time
I was out at the park. - You did?

252
00:14:16,275 --> 00:14:19,017
Yeah, you pinch-hit in the bottom
of the ninth with two men on.

253
00:14:19,078 --> 00:14:21,058
- Is that the time I got the double?
- No, you struck out.

254
00:14:22,682 --> 00:14:24,628
Well, it happens
to the best of them.

255
00:14:24,684 --> 00:14:27,494
- Yeah, it happens to me a lot too.
- [E/e vator Bell <i>Ding; ]</i>

256
00:14:27,553 --> 00:14:29,760
Well, I gotta get going.

257
00:14:29,822 --> 00:14:33,269
I gotta catch a nap,
sol can get up for the game.

258
00:14:33,326 --> 00:14:36,239
I'll see you next week.

259
00:14:36,295 --> 00:14:39,242
Hey, Bob, is he coming
to see you, that bum?

260
00:14:40,466 --> 00:14:42,412
He's not a bum. He's my patient.

261
00:14:42,468 --> 00:14:45,506
Well, I'm not talking about him as your patient.
I'm sure he's a terrific patient.

262
00:14:45,571 --> 00:14:47,676
As a ballplayer, he's a terrific bum.

263
00:14:47,740 --> 00:14:50,346
SeeJerry, you're a typical fan,
you know that?

264
00:14:50,409 --> 00:14:52,446
When a guy's on top,
you're all for him.

265
00:14:52,511 --> 00:14:55,082
When a guy strikes out
a couple times, he's a bum.

266
00:14:55,147 --> 00:14:58,617
I mean,you gotta look deeper
into a person thanjust his batting average.

267
00:14:58,684 --> 00:15:02,291
Yeah, maybe you're right. I'm sorry.
Hey, by the way, what is his batting average?

268
00:15:02,355 --> 00:15:04,767
.183.

269
00:15:04,824 --> 00:15:07,134
[Laughs]

270
00:15:13,666 --> 00:15:15,976
[Announcer]
It's a high fly to shallow center field.

271
00:15:16,035 --> 00:15:18,072
Johnson camps under it.
He's got it.

272
00:15:18,137 --> 00:15:20,617
Quickly throws it in and the runners hold.
Two outs.

273
00:15:20,673 --> 00:15:22,619
Do you believe this?
Bottom of the ninth...

274
00:15:22,675 --> 00:15:24,621
men on second and third,
and they can't get 'em across.

275
00:15:24,677 --> 00:15:28,591
What's the matter, Bob? Bender pitched
a great game. He only gave up two runs.

276
00:15:28,648 --> 00:15:30,889
Well, honey, the score is 2-1.

277
00:15:30,950 --> 00:15:34,295
Winning is when your side
is leading by 2-1.

278
00:15:34,353 --> 00:15:37,630
[Announcer] Uh-oh, they're gonna walk
Kilpatrick to load the bases...

279
00:15:37,690 --> 00:15:40,432
- to get at the pitcher.
- We need a hit. We need a hit.

280
00:15:40,493 --> 00:15:42,473
Now, Bob, don't take it so hard.

281
00:15:42,528 --> 00:15:47,409
The pitcher's spot is due up now,
but Bender is not coming out.

282
00:15:47,466 --> 00:15:49,412
They're gonna pull him
for a pinch hitter. Sure.

283
00:15:49,468 --> 00:15:52,176
Well, good, now you can relax.
With Bender out of the game...

284
00:15:52,238 --> 00:15:54,275
you don't have to worry
about him striking out.

285
00:15:54,340 --> 00:15:59,414
And coming out of the dugout,
swinging a couple of bats is Moose Washburn.

286
00:15:59,478 --> 00:16:01,958
Oh, no!

287
00:16:02,014 --> 00:16:04,688
- What's the matter?
- Another patient.

288
00:16:04,750 --> 00:16:07,731
- <i>[ Crowd</i> Boning] - Moose is your
patient? What are you, the team doctor?

289
00:16:07,787 --> 00:16:11,200
- Uh-huh.
- Bob, why are they booing him like that?

290
00:16:11,257 --> 00:16:14,761
Because fans are callous and insensitive.
They just wanna win.

291
00:16:14,827 --> 00:16:17,501
[Chuckles]
Look at those funny little things he does.

292
00:16:17,563 --> 00:16:19,804
Look at that.
He's touching his hat.

293
00:16:19,865 --> 00:16:23,210
Oh, tugging his ear.
Look at that, pulling on his shirt.

294
00:16:23,269 --> 00:16:26,011
Yeah, those are nervous mannerisms.
All ballplayers have nervous mannerisms.

295
00:16:26,072 --> 00:16:28,018
Oh.

296
00:16:28,074 --> 00:16:31,453
Is that a nervous mannerism?

297
00:16:36,282 --> 00:16:38,228
Probably an itch.

298
00:16:38,284 --> 00:16:40,059
Oh.

299
00:16:42,054 --> 00:16:46,002
All right, Parson winds, pitches
and Moose takes it. Strike one.

300
00:16:46,058 --> 00:16:48,004
- <i>[ Crowd Boning]</i>
- <i>Oh, Bob.</i>

301
00:16:48,060 --> 00:16:50,006
Forget the fans, Moose.
just stay relaxed.

302
00:16:50,062 --> 00:16:52,201
Nice easy swing.
You can do it, baby.

303
00:16:52,264 --> 00:16:56,713
Another curveball and Washburn swings
and picks it up into the screen.

304
00:16:56,769 --> 00:16:58,715
Okay, you're getting a piece
of it now, Moose.

305
00:16:58,771 --> 00:17:01,877
Keep watching the ball.
He's gonna get a hit, Emily. I canjust feel it.

306
00:17:01,941 --> 00:17:03,852
You know, he has a nice face.

307
00:17:03,909 --> 00:17:06,287
Oh, he's a nice man.
He really is lovely.

308
00:17:06,345 --> 00:17:09,883
<i>A swing and a miss, Washburn strikes out,
and the game is over.</i>

309
00:17:09,949 --> 00:17:12,555
- You bum!
-[Clicks Off]

310
00:17:15,121 --> 00:17:17,397
Emily, did you hear
what I just said?

311
00:17:17,456 --> 00:17:19,902
I just called
my own patient a bum.

312
00:17:19,959 --> 00:17:23,566
I feel terrible.
just terrible.

313
00:17:23,629 --> 00:17:25,734
Oh, Bob, you shouldn't be
that upset.

314
00:17:25,798 --> 00:17:28,369
Yes, I should.
The ball was a mile outside.

315
00:17:28,434 --> 00:17:30,607
Even I wouldn't have swung at it.

316
00:17:32,738 --> 00:17:35,480
- Bob, where you going?
- Emily, I'm all keyed up.

317
00:17:35,541 --> 00:17:37,748
I'm gonna get something to eat.

318
00:17:37,810 --> 00:17:40,586
I gotta get out of baseball.
I can't take the pressure anymore.

319
00:17:43,682 --> 00:17:46,663
- [ Elevator Bell Dings]
- [ Typing 1

320
00:17:49,321 --> 00:17:51,267
[Bob Clears Throat]

321
00:17:52,691 --> 00:17:54,728
Well, I didn't expect
any ta-da, ta-da, ta-da...

322
00:17:54,794 --> 00:17:56,740
but, I mean, a good morning
would be nice.

323
00:17:56,796 --> 00:17:58,742
- Oh, good morning, Bob.
- Morning, Bob.

324
00:17:58,798 --> 00:18:01,074
Wejust didn't see you,
that's all. How you feeling?

325
00:18:01,133 --> 00:18:03,773
- Fine.just fine.
- Good.

326
00:18:03,836 --> 00:18:07,409
Bender really pitched a good game
last night, even though he lost.

327
00:18:07,473 --> 00:18:09,419
I bet you really feel good
about that, huh?

328
00:18:09,475 --> 00:18:12,752
As far as Washburn is concerned,
well, it's not easy being a pinch hitter.

329
00:18:12,812 --> 00:18:17,818
Sitting on the bench all night,
feeling all that tension, using a cold bat.

330
00:18:17,883 --> 00:18:20,295
- Let's just drop the game, okay?
- Okay.

331
00:18:20,352 --> 00:18:24,129
Thanks, Carol. Hey, Bob,
too bad about that game last night.

332
00:18:24,190 --> 00:18:26,898
You know, ifWashburn would have
gotten a hit, you would have won.

333
00:18:28,661 --> 00:18:30,732
Well, you win some,
you lose some.

334
00:18:30,796 --> 00:18:34,005
And you strike out
in the bottom of the ninth some.

335
00:18:36,969 --> 00:18:38,915
- Any calls?
- Uh,yeah.

336
00:18:38,971 --> 00:18:42,885
Phil Bender called.
He says he's depressed and doesn't know why.

337
00:18:42,942 --> 00:18:45,616
- Moose Washburn called.
- That's why.

338
00:18:45,678 --> 00:18:48,522
Oh.

339
00:18:48,581 --> 00:18:51,255
Set up an appointment for Phil
and get Moose on the phone for me, all right?

340
00:18:51,317 --> 00:18:53,263
Right.

341
00:18:56,322 --> 00:18:58,268
<i>Intercom Buzzes]</i>

342
00:19:00,326 --> 00:19:02,272
- Yeah?
- [ Carol] Moose on two.

343
00:19:02,328 --> 00:19:04,467
Thank you.

344
00:19:06,498 --> 00:19:08,535
Hi, Moose.
How you feeling?

345
00:19:09,635 --> 00:19:11,945
Yeah, me too.

346
00:19:12,004 --> 00:19:15,144
No, I didn't get a chance
to see the sport pages today. Why?

347
00:19:16,575 --> 00:19:18,521
We've been traded?

348
00:19:21,013 --> 00:19:23,550
To who?

349
00:19:23,616 --> 00:19:25,618
Japan?

350
00:19:28,487 --> 00:19:31,593
The “Tukohoshi“ Raiders.

351
00:19:31,657 --> 00:19:34,069
I never heard of them.

352
00:19:34,126 --> 00:19:36,732
They're ajapanese
expansion team.

353
00:19:37,963 --> 00:19:41,342
I didn't know they had
Japanese expansion teams.

354
00:19:41,400 --> 00:19:43,380
In Tukohoshi they do.

355
00:19:45,037 --> 00:19:46,983
Oh, no, you get used
to the food.

356
00:19:49,675 --> 00:19:52,554
Yeah, they-they have
nice-nice fish.

357
00:19:54,413 --> 00:19:57,053
Well, may-maybe
they could cook it for you.

358
00:19:58,584 --> 00:20:01,292
When are you leaving, Moose?

359
00:20:02,688 --> 00:20:05,692
Boy, they don't waste
any time, do they?

360
00:20:05,758 --> 00:20:07,738
Listen, why don't you
stop by the apartment?

361
00:20:07,793 --> 00:20:10,399
You'll have dinner with us tonight
on your way to the airport.

362
00:20:12,831 --> 00:20:15,368
Uh, Moose, are you calling
from the ballpark?

363
00:20:15,434 --> 00:20:17,778
There's a lot of screaming
going on in the background.

364
00:20:19,138 --> 00:20:21,243
Acupuncture class.

365
00:20:27,780 --> 00:20:30,021
Boy, I tell you.
That was delicious.

366
00:20:30,082 --> 00:20:32,028
- Delicious, Emily.
- Oh, thank you.

367
00:20:32,084 --> 00:20:35,463
I'm sure gonna miss this American food.
What kind of chicken did you call that?

368
00:20:35,521 --> 00:20:37,467
Chicken teriyaki.

369
00:20:37,523 --> 00:20:39,469
Sure was great.

370
00:20:39,525 --> 00:20:41,698
I'll probably never get
anything like that injapan.

371
00:20:41,760 --> 00:20:45,401
Uh, listen, guys. Why don't we have
our Irish coffee in the living room?

372
00:20:45,464 --> 00:20:48,104
- Oh, good idea.
- Terrific.

373
00:20:48,167 --> 00:20:50,704
I didn't know that
they could trade players tojapan.

374
00:20:50,769 --> 00:20:55,149
Well, normally they can't, but I had this
funny Far East clause in my contract.

375
00:20:55,207 --> 00:20:57,153
Who'd they trade you for, Moose?

376
00:20:57,209 --> 00:20:59,621
I'm not sure.
But there's talk around the clubhouse...

377
00:20:59,678 --> 00:21:02,488
they got a shortstop,
a third baseman and a Datsun.

378
00:21:06,018 --> 00:21:07,964
Boy, I have halfa mind
not to report.

379
00:21:08,020 --> 00:21:10,466
- So don't report.
- He's got a contract. He has to report.

380
00:21:10,522 --> 00:21:12,627
A contract. It's a piece of paper.
He can tear that up.

381
00:21:12,691 --> 00:21:15,365
- Tear it up? Then what do you do?
- I'll tell you what he'd do.

382
00:21:15,427 --> 00:21:18,465
If I were Moose, I'd sit down
and take a good hard look at myself.

383
00:21:18,530 --> 00:21:22,103
I'd say, “Moose, face it.
You're over the hill. Get out of baseball.“

384
00:21:24,636 --> 00:21:27,116
<i>Over the hill? You're 38.
You're a young man.</i>

385
00:21:27,172 --> 00:21:29,345
[Snickers]
For a diamond cutter, you're a young man.

386
00:21:29,408 --> 00:21:31,786
For a ballplayer, time to quit.

387
00:21:31,844 --> 00:21:33,790
<i>Quit? But they
want you in japan.</i>

388
00:21:33,846 --> 00:21:37,419
They want me injapan
because they don't want me in America.

389
00:21:37,483 --> 00:21:41,090
Uh,you know, I've been listening
to your conversation...

390
00:21:41,153 --> 00:21:43,565
and you're talking about Moose
like Moose isn't here.

391
00:21:43,622 --> 00:21:47,866
But Moose is here. And I think
you're overlooking one very important point.

392
00:21:47,926 --> 00:21:50,497
- What's that?
- Well, if I were Moose...

393
00:21:50,562 --> 00:21:53,202
I would say to myself,
“How do I feel about baseball?

394
00:21:53,265 --> 00:21:55,211
Is there anything else
I would rather do?“

395
00:21:55,267 --> 00:21:58,510
Look, you've been playing
in the major leagues all your life.

396
00:21:58,570 --> 00:22:00,550
You really want to go
to TukohoshLjapan...

397
00:22:00,606 --> 00:22:05,521
play for the minor leagues for less pay,
less prestige and less dignity?

398
00:22:05,577 --> 00:22:07,488
Oh, well,
when you put it like that.

399
00:22:07,546 --> 00:22:10,220
- Exactly. There comes a point--
- Excuse me, I hate to butt in.

400
00:22:10,282 --> 00:22:13,229
Hey, Moose, uh, you think
you could hold your thought for a minute?

401
00:22:13,285 --> 00:22:15,231
We almost got this
worked out here.

402
00:22:15,287 --> 00:22:17,289
- Yeah.
Jerry, let him speak.

403
00:22:17,356 --> 00:22:20,701
Now, you're saying if I were Moose.
Emily's saying ifshe were Moose.

404
00:22:20,759 --> 00:22:23,501
I mean, we got
the real Moose here.

405
00:22:23,562 --> 00:22:25,473
Moose, how do you feel about it?

406
00:22:25,531 --> 00:22:28,273
Me?

407
00:22:28,333 --> 00:22:31,439
Oh, there's some good things
about playing ball injapan.

408
00:22:31,503 --> 00:22:34,541
I mean, they want me.
There are not many good catchers there.

409
00:22:34,606 --> 00:22:38,213
They got all those small
little fingers, you know.

410
00:22:38,277 --> 00:22:41,281
And if the fans start yelling at me,
they'll beyelling injapanese.

411
00:22:41,346 --> 00:22:44,350
I won't understand
what they're saying.

412
00:22:44,416 --> 00:22:46,555
Another thing,
I'm 5 foot 9.

413
00:22:46,618 --> 00:22:50,361
Injapan, I'll be a big man.
I'm going tojapan.

414
00:22:50,422 --> 00:22:53,733
- Well, that's great, Moose.
- lfl don't leave soon, I'll miss my plane.

415
00:22:53,792 --> 00:22:55,965
Oh, I'll get your coat.

416
00:22:56,028 --> 00:22:58,838
I wanna thank you guys
for making up my mind.

417
00:22:58,897 --> 00:23:03,243
I don't know what you did, but I never wanted
to get out of Chicago so bad in all my life.

418
00:23:06,238 --> 00:23:08,184
We're gonna miss you, Moose.

419
00:23:08,240 --> 00:23:12,620
Hmm, me too.
Bob, EmilyJerry, what can I say?

420
00:23:12,678 --> 00:23:14,885
Listen, if you're ever
injapan, look me up.

421
00:23:14,947 --> 00:23:17,325
We'll take a bath together.

422
00:23:17,382 --> 00:23:20,158
- <i>[ Doorbell Buzzes ]</i>
- <i>Oh,</i> excuse <i>me, Moose.</i>

423
00:23:20,219 --> 00:23:23,223
- Oh, hi, Howard.
- Hi, Emily. Hi, Bob.

424
00:23:23,288 --> 00:23:26,132
Oh, I hate to interrupt,
but I'm leaving for my flight.

425
00:23:26,191 --> 00:23:28,137
Would you mind picking up
my mail and my newspapers?

426
00:23:28,193 --> 00:23:31,402
Sure, Howard. Listen, if you're leaving right now,
would you give our friend here a lift?

427
00:23:31,463 --> 00:23:34,376
- Sure. Where you going?
-japan.

428
00:23:36,502 --> 00:23:39,506
I'm sorry.
I'm only going as far as Cleveland.

429
00:23:39,571 --> 00:23:41,517
Bye.

430
00:23:48,947 --> 00:23:51,484
Dear Dr. Yamaharo-

431
00:23:51,550 --> 00:23:53,621
Uh, how do you spell that?

432
00:23:53,685 --> 00:23:56,859
- Get it off the letterhead.
- Mm.

433
00:23:56,922 --> 00:23:59,368
- Now where were we?
- Uh, “Dear Dr. Yama“--

434
00:23:59,424 --> 00:24:02,268
Oh, yeah, uh--

435
00:24:02,327 --> 00:24:05,467
Concerning your letter
regarding my former patient...

436
00:24:05,531 --> 00:24:08,341
and your current patient,
Moose Washburn...

437
00:24:09,935 --> 00:24:11,881
he only visited me
three times...

438
00:24:11,937 --> 00:24:15,942
and we really didn't get into
his personal problems in any depth.

439
00:24:16,008 --> 00:24:18,420
Uh, paragraph.

440
00:24:18,477 --> 00:24:21,424
I'm-- I'm glad to hear his batting average
is getting better...

441
00:24:21,480 --> 00:24:25,758
and the fans have stopped calling him
bakayaro after the first couple weeks.

442
00:24:25,817 --> 00:24:30,095
Uh, baka who-o?
How do you spell that?

443
00:24:30,155 --> 00:24:33,659
Uh, b-a-k-a-y-a-r-o.
I looked it up.

444
00:24:33,725 --> 00:24:36,262
- Oh, what does it mean?
- Bum.

445
00:25:13,265 --> 00:25:14,642
[ Mews]